Count it All Joy?! A Father's Day Reflection

There are many times in life when you must "will" yourself to be positive.  I can too easily drift to the negative side before realizing it happened. I have come to know several things that I need: the accountability to friends and reminders and exhortations to be positive, reading God's Word, praying, and listening to music.
As Father's Day approaches, I am a confluence of thankfulness for my Dad and sorrow for his trials at this stage of life. It is difficult to stay positive.
James 1: 2-8 reads, My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.  For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;  he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
Really? Lord, you want me to count it "ALL JOY?" -when each time I talk with my parents, I notice that Dad is mentally "slipping" and Mom remains locked in the never-never land of Alzheimer's? When I see them,  I am shocked at Dad's physical decline since last I saw him? This man who was such a strong, autocratic leader of our family, an avid reader, the eternal winner of Trivial Pursuit, the Pacer who could not sit still, Chairman of the deacons in our Southern Baptist Church (and leader of almost every other committee at some point)? This man who, as a boy in a family of 10 children, made his own way--even throwing newspapers for a nickel a week? This man who served his country during WW2 and the Korean War? This man who, though often stern and stubborn, loves his family and loved to help people? This man who gave me a love for learning and a love for music, who told me I could be anything I "set my mind to!"?
There are people (Christians) who preach that you should not ask, "Why?" Well, pooh! Why? Why? Why? There, I said it!
Oh, I don't expect an answer  but I do find some comfort in God's Word, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33). Praise God that we have hope. As a pastor friend of mine likes to remind us, "We know WHO WINS in the end! The victory is ours through Jesus Christ."
Thank-you, LORD, for Dad. Bless him at this stage in his life. May he know that you are with him and may he have the hope and joy of your love within him.

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS...

So many life lessons in these past three weeks in Costa Rica. I guess it really is true that we often need to get out of our daily routine, remove ourselves from the ordinary, to see God at work and to hear the LORD speaking to us.
One revelation from the LORD has been the reminder that my life is in His hands. God has blessed the roads of my life's journey and, as the popular song states, "God [even] blessed the broken roads…." to bring me to this point in life.  Praise the LORD for His Goodness, His patience, His mercy, and His faithfulness. "For now we see through a glass darkly but, then, we will see face to face, now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known (1 Corinthians 13:12). What a joy it is to see a little "face-to-face" during this trip to Costa Rica.
So many events from my life have converged at this point: Children's Choir at Calvary Baptist Church, piano lessons from Mrs. Leila Jo Caughman--a great (very strict!) teacher, choral opportunities in middle school, high school, college, and seminary, church music ministry opportunities in wonderful churches in Columbia, SC, Charleston, SC, Isle of Palms, SC, Lexington, KY, Raleigh, NC, Brentwood TN,  countless Bible studies, teaching undergraduate Bible, music, and worship courses, mission trips to Mexico and Costa Rica, raising four children, two of whom we adopted, the love of a Christ-following husband. Oh, and don't forget the Spanish classes. When Brentwood UMC offered Spanish classes in 2011, I signed-up so I could brush up on my 30-year-old high school level Spanish. This would hopefully enable me to communicate a little better in Costa Rica when we went on sabbatical the following summer. Once that summer trip ended, however  I continued to take Spanish classes, loving every minute of them. I took the cleaning lady (from Guatemala) to lunch to practice my Spanish, I volunteered in an ESL class, I pestered my nephew who had majored in Spanish in college, bribing him with breakfast at Panera's, if he would speak Spanish with me for one hour. Why? Why did I love this language and why was I DRIVEN to learn it? The question surfaced many times and I had answer.
Along with the positive experiences of my life these past few years, there were some events that saddened me and events that caused me to question God's purpose for my life. Why didn't God answer my prayers (the way I thought He should!)? The waiting, the "NO's," the questioning were all part of God's plan, though I could not see it.
It is crystal clear to me now how God prepared me through each of these opportunities/events to bring me to where I am, now: working with a high school chorus and living with 11 children (who are up for adoption) in Costa Rica.  Though I would not begin to compare myself to Queen Esther and the time that Mordecai stated that she was a Hebrew who had been chosen queen  "for such a time as this;" that phrase keeps running through my mind. God's time (kairos) and my time (chronos) join hands at God's bidding. It has taken years down the road to understand but, looking back, the guiding, loving hand of God was there with me all the time. 
Thank-you, Lord.

Tico Patience. HURRY UP, I WANT IT NOW!

Tico Patience 

HURRY UP, I WANT  IT NOW!

This is my fourth trip to Costa Rica. I have been here for 17 days so far this trip, nine of those days without Rob. While the loneliness and isolation I experience in the evenings and weekends is unsettling, there are many good things about this trip. One of these is the patience and manners of these lovely Costa Rican people (Ticos).

Traffic is HORRIBLE, here. Cars, buses, motorcycles, and bicycles weave in and out with no attention to driving rules such as the lines in the road or not passing on the right. I find myself getting upset with these drivers, after squealing and prying open my eyes, certain that my driver is going to hit their vehicles. Somehow it all works, though. I observe that the drivers seem to be patient. If someone moves out ahead of them, they acquiesce and then continue on their way when all is clear. Four cars may approach an intersection. All stop and with the nod of a head, they signal who will go first. Pedestrians begin to move out into the road when oncoming traffic is approaching and that traffic will slow down for them. No angry honking of horns, no cussing or making obscene gestures. Oh, a driver may honk his car horn, but only lightly to signal to the other drivers that he is moving out. I'm not advocating that the rest of the world drive this way (USA especially) but Tico patience is admirable.

This cultural patience is found in other places, too. In all my time at Colegio Metodista, teaching chorus classes and participating in school events, I have never seen anyone in a hurry. Yet, this is one of the top private schools in the country, academically.  How do they do it? The gentility of staff and students alike demonstrates a lesson many of us could learn. Costa Ricans greet everyone in the room when they enter it, often with a kiss on the cheek. They say good-bye to everyone in the room when they leave. The students stand by their desks, after entering my classroom, until I sit or tell them to be seated. I've attended two morning coffees and there was no rush. The food was delicious and elegantly prepared and people seemed to genuinely enjoy taking the time to socialize. I did not see ONE PERSON PULL OUT AN iPHONE during the entire hour of both coffees! People and relationships matter the most--what a pleasant atmosphere.

I'm afraid that in the USA, we would be checking our watches, our phones, and hurrying through such social events to get to our next event, only to check that off our list and head to the next thing. As for me, I am now inspired be more patient, courteous, mannered, and interested in people. If the greatest commandments are to love the Lord our God with all our hearts and to love people as ourselves, this will be a step in the right direction.

A tribute to my Mom

My dear mother is as sweet as she ever was and, yet, she is unaware of most of her life -- due to the demons of dementia. 
As I look at Mom, I am flooded with many emotions, some I can't begin to explain, and many questions. Where is my mother? How can she be sitting there and not remember most of the people and events of her 86 years? Who took her memory? What did she eat, or do, or expose herself to throughout her life, that caused this to happen? 
God's Word says we see through a glass darkly, now, and will THEN see clearly but, I really want to know now and I want to know why. How could this happen to someone who is a true example of a servant of Christ? She lived her entire life to support, encourage, and nourish other people. She read her Bible and prayed daily. She humbly taught Sunday School. She never said an angry word to anyone. She listened and never criticized. She only offered advice when asked for it. She was forever taking soup or casseroles to sick folks or buying a present for anyone's new baby (though Mom and Dad were always on a tight budget). She once told me, when I questioned her about how she felt after being confined to the house for a month with an illness, that she was perfectly content to be with Dad in her home.
I recently heard a sermon on the Beatitudes and one part, in particular, struck me, "Blessed are the meek." As the preacher spoke, my mother's face came to mind. The synonyms and phrases for meekness all describe my mother: gentleness, humility, not seeking credit from people, inner strength, never criticizing, even when criticized. The pastor further clarified this picture of Mom, "Meekness is an unconscious anointing of God." 
As long as I live, I will not make sense of this illness and why it happened to her. The only good thing I can fathom is the way in which she continues to touch the lives of people, those who attend her in the skilled nursing center, those old friends who visit, and me. I would love to be more like her and, in being more like her,  be more like Jesus. I love you, Mom.

Sub'n: Views from several angles on substitute teaching

Throughout my adult life, I have substitute taught in various schools in many different cities where we lived. After a 12-year hiatus, I "subbed" in five high school classes today. Here are some thoughts I had:

"Substitute teacher!" Upon hearing this announcement, a student may experience an extreme quickening of heartbeats, euphoric waves of gratitude, and explosive jolts of creativity. The mind of this student, a.k.a. sub-CAT, whirls with anticipation. "How can I take advantage of this substitute teacher's disorientation, the deference and timidity that accompany her still-dry feet?"  Careful to remain unemotional, expressionless, and uninterested, sub-CAT contemplates where and when to pounce. He lies-in-wait for the opportune moment to catch this unsuspecting, surrogate leader.

"Substitute teacher!" A title revered by… no one. The school administrators dread the thought of the extra work involved with a sub: more paperwork, more interruptions, more complaints, more discipline problems but, also, less work-- less work toward achieving yearly goals and optimum student test results.

"Substitute teacher!" The "absent" teacher dislikes subs, though understands they are a necessity. A substitute teacher mean extra work typing instructions and explaining lesson plans. A sub means there will be even more-than-the-usual-work to do when the absent teacher returns to school, including catching up, cleaning up, shoring up. Anxiety comes hand-in-hand with calling a sub since that call often occurs from a sickbed, on the way to daycare to fetch an ailing child, or in the fog of emotions concerning a family emergency.

"Substitute teacher!" A phrase uttered over the phone, at the crack of dawn, while the would-be sub is still warm under bedcovers. Her response is a half-truth. "Sure, I'll be glad to come in for you today," when, in reality, she is thinking, "I might as well, I have no other job and I need the money." After hanging up the phone, her sleepy brain comes into focus and she tries to recall the "who, what, when, where, and why?" of her assignment.  She tumbles out of bed, stumbles to the coffeepot, and pauses to humbly beseech help from the One Who knows her best. "Dear God, thank-you for this day. Please give me strength… and patience… and wisdom to outsmart sub-CAT!"