My dear mother is as sweet as she ever was and, yet, she is unaware of most of her life -- due to the demons of dementia.
As I look at Mom, I am flooded with many emotions, some I can't begin to explain, and many questions. Where is my mother? How can she be sitting there and not remember most of the people and events of her 86 years? Who took her memory? What did she eat, or do, or expose herself to throughout her life, that caused this to happen?
God's Word says we see through a glass darkly, now, and will THEN see clearly but, I really want to know now and I want to know why. How could this happen to someone who is a true example of a servant of Christ? She lived her entire life to support, encourage, and nourish other people. She read her Bible and prayed daily. She humbly taught Sunday School. She never said an angry word to anyone. She listened and never criticized. She only offered advice when asked for it. She was forever taking soup or casseroles to sick folks or buying a present for anyone's new baby (though Mom and Dad were always on a tight budget). She once told me, when I questioned her about how she felt after being confined to the house for a month with an illness, that she was perfectly content to be with Dad in her home.
I recently heard a sermon on the Beatitudes and one part, in particular, struck me, "Blessed are the meek." As the preacher spoke, my mother's face came to mind. The synonyms and phrases for meekness all describe my mother: gentleness, humility, not seeking credit from people, inner strength, never criticizing, even when criticized. The pastor further clarified this picture of Mom, "Meekness is an unconscious anointing of God."
As long as I live, I will not make sense of this illness and why it happened to her. The only good thing I can fathom is the way in which she continues to touch the lives of people, those who attend her in the skilled nursing center, those old friends who visit, and me. I would love to be more like her and, in being more like her, be more like Jesus. I love you, Mom.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Sub'n: Views from several angles on substitute teaching
Throughout my adult life, I have substitute taught in various schools in many different cities where we lived. After a 12-year hiatus, I "subbed" in five high school classes today. Here are some thoughts I had:
"Substitute teacher!" Upon hearing this announcement, a student may experience an extreme quickening of heartbeats, euphoric waves of gratitude, and explosive jolts of creativity. The mind of this student, a.k.a. sub-CAT, whirls with anticipation. "How can I take advantage of this substitute teacher's disorientation, the deference and timidity that accompany her still-dry feet?" Careful to remain unemotional, expressionless, and uninterested, sub-CAT contemplates where and when to pounce. He lies-in-wait for the opportune moment to catch this unsuspecting, surrogate leader.
"Substitute teacher!" A title revered by… no one. The school administrators dread the thought of the extra work involved with a sub: more paperwork, more interruptions, more complaints, more discipline problems but, also, less work-- less work toward achieving yearly goals and optimum student test results.
"Substitute teacher!" The "absent" teacher dislikes subs, though understands they are a necessity. A substitute teacher mean extra work typing instructions and explaining lesson plans. A sub means there will be even more-than-the-usual-work to do when the absent teacher returns to school, including catching up, cleaning up, shoring up. Anxiety comes hand-in-hand with calling a sub since that call often occurs from a sickbed, on the way to daycare to fetch an ailing child, or in the fog of emotions concerning a family emergency.
"Substitute teacher!" A phrase uttered over the phone, at the crack of dawn, while the would-be sub is still warm under bedcovers. Her response is a half-truth. "Sure, I'll be glad to come in for you today," when, in reality, she is thinking, "I might as well, I have no other job and I need the money." After hanging up the phone, her sleepy brain comes into focus and she tries to recall the "who, what, when, where, and why?" of her assignment. She tumbles out of bed, stumbles to the coffeepot, and pauses to humbly beseech help from the One Who knows her best. "Dear God, thank-you for this day. Please give me strength… and patience… and wisdom to outsmart sub-CAT!"
"Substitute teacher!" Upon hearing this announcement, a student may experience an extreme quickening of heartbeats, euphoric waves of gratitude, and explosive jolts of creativity. The mind of this student, a.k.a. sub-CAT, whirls with anticipation. "How can I take advantage of this substitute teacher's disorientation, the deference and timidity that accompany her still-dry feet?" Careful to remain unemotional, expressionless, and uninterested, sub-CAT contemplates where and when to pounce. He lies-in-wait for the opportune moment to catch this unsuspecting, surrogate leader.
"Substitute teacher!" A title revered by… no one. The school administrators dread the thought of the extra work involved with a sub: more paperwork, more interruptions, more complaints, more discipline problems but, also, less work-- less work toward achieving yearly goals and optimum student test results.
"Substitute teacher!" The "absent" teacher dislikes subs, though understands they are a necessity. A substitute teacher mean extra work typing instructions and explaining lesson plans. A sub means there will be even more-than-the-usual-work to do when the absent teacher returns to school, including catching up, cleaning up, shoring up. Anxiety comes hand-in-hand with calling a sub since that call often occurs from a sickbed, on the way to daycare to fetch an ailing child, or in the fog of emotions concerning a family emergency.
"Substitute teacher!" A phrase uttered over the phone, at the crack of dawn, while the would-be sub is still warm under bedcovers. Her response is a half-truth. "Sure, I'll be glad to come in for you today," when, in reality, she is thinking, "I might as well, I have no other job and I need the money." After hanging up the phone, her sleepy brain comes into focus and she tries to recall the "who, what, when, where, and why?" of her assignment. She tumbles out of bed, stumbles to the coffeepot, and pauses to humbly beseech help from the One Who knows her best. "Dear God, thank-you for this day. Please give me strength… and patience… and wisdom to outsmart sub-CAT!"
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