Tracing Rainbows through the Rain

JOY. A simple three-letter word that brings a smile to my face when I say, hear it, think it. The word may be little, but the concept--or characteristic--or emotion--is hardly inconsequential. Joy is more than happiness. Joy is a somersault on a summer afternoon--sweet flight through the air--body and spirit conquer space. It's a recipe of love and peace and hope all rolled into one. It's trust, abandonment of my cares into the hands of Another who is greater than me.
Joy remains, or should remain, as an anchor that keeps us grounded in the storms of life. I usually sign my letters and emails, "Joyfully, Susan."  I admit, though, that sometimes there's a catch in my spirit because I know that at that moment of typing my closing I am not joyful. Is it possible to always have joy? Some arm-chair theologian from my past insisted that we should always be joyful (well, come to think of it, the Apostle Paul said that, too). Happiness comes and goes but joy remains constant in the "good" Christian's life: joy being the knowledge and faith that God is always with us, that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus, and that we have the hope of eternal life.
You know... that sounds good--real good. But today, I'm not joyful. I can't say joy eludes me, because I don't feel like looking for it. There are just times when life stinks--pure old garbage heap, sour milk, dog-poop-in-the-carpet stinks. My dear friend and tennis buddy told our team last night that she has early-stage breast cancer. This news, on top of other trials in my life, has sucked the joy out of me today. Oh, I can put on my "minister hat" and say all the right things; but my humanity wants to cry with her, worry for her, and ask God, "Why?"
Do I believe God is Good? Do I believe God knows what she needs? Do I believe that God is right there with her, every step of the way? YES. But let me grieve as Jesus grieved for Lazarus, for the sin in this world that separates us from the goodness God so wants us to know and enjoy. Do I believe that one day we will be whole and HAPPY, no more worries, fears, sickness, or tears? Yes, and until that day, God give me the faith to trace your rainbow through the rain.